Thursday, April 30, 2009

I am making my first SMS post. This is kind of exciting.

So I am sitting in Wamego fading away from Chemistry and coming into the realization that school is over in 14 1/2 days. That is scary.
I hope I have completed what I was set here to do. - Do you always doubt your accomplishments when it is time to move on? When I make the next transition in my life down the road will I wonder then, like now, if I made the most of my time?

Monday, April 27, 2009

the Fear of Fear

What is fear when it is transcends all understanding? When you aren't physically scared of something but more or less just aware of a situation.
What is it when we aren't tangibly upset or even worried but we just have an understanding that things are not the way that they should be? I would consider this FEAR but is it?
Does fear have to have feeling or can it just be an understanding? Can fear just be an awareness that something is out of place?
Can we fear fear? Can we be afraid of the feeling of fear when we put ourselves out there? Is this what causes us not to take risk? Is the fear of fear what causes us to be timid?
This goes past rejection and discomfort and this may not make sense to anyone but me but it works in my head... so I guess welcome to confusion that is my brain.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I am Complicating

For the past five days I have had one of the most relaxing but totally busiest periods of time in as long as I can remember. It was great. On Wednesday I met up with one of my dearest friends in Colorado Springs to get an early jump start on his long awaited bachelor party. The two of us hung out with our mentor for an evening and then trekked up to Evergreen where we enjoyed the weather and drank some amazing wine awaiting the arrival of our friends. On Friday I woke up early and as the party gang left for a day on the slopes I peaced out early and made my way to KC where I watched Zach Greinke dominate the Detroit Tigers and I got some much needed sleep. Saturday morning I got to go see the progress that my friends were getting on there community ministry that they have begun in Downtown KC. Its a sweet vision with some even more realistic dedication. They are going to do great things and I am humbled that my father and I could get the opportunity to be a part of this with them by pitching in to prep the building they are moving into. Saturday night was great my amazing parents took me out to dinner and then drove around looking at houses with me as I try to find a place to live. We wrapped the night up with a stop at the greatest bar in KC, Grinders in the Crossroads district. Now, Sunday, I am back in Manhattan finishing my 1400 mile (total coincidence) journey this week.

All week I have been deep in the book of Acts. More so than anything on this miniature sabbatical I wanted to get extended time in the Word. Luckily that was a reality not just a failed hope. On Friday morning, right before my 10 hour journey from Evergreen, CO to Kansas City I stole a nice chunk of time and went into the trees overlooking Mt. Evans and dove into Acts 15. It is some powerful stuff. Luke talks in detail about Paul and Barnabas disputing the Pharisees from Judea and Antioch and their orders for everyone to be circumcised. Paul and Barnabas continually dispute the need for ritual to determine someones commitment to God. This leads all of the way to a meeting with all of the elders in the region where Peter stands up and makes this statement ;

"Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as He did to us. He made no distinction between us and them, for He purified their hearts by faith. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear? No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are."

This week even though I was crazy busy I had plenty of time to process and over think things. I had so much time to consume my brain with contradicting thoughts and excuses to water down the scripture I had read. But, for this I only had one thought. For this, Acts 15: 7-11, I could only conjugate one conclusion.

Why do we try to complicate Jesus with ourselves?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Isaiah 54:10

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Nearly 7 years ago today my life changed with one tear. My leg decided to go one way and my knee said no; and that is it. Everything I had planned on and everything that I knew was no longer an option. No more big school far away for free... instead small (relatively) school two hours from home with a dream far, far away. You know what though? It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
My tenure (almost literally) is about to end and the dynamic duo of Manhattan, KS and Sam McCord will soon be coming to a close. What an amazing ride it has been. What an interesting relationship.
Its funny seven years ago I never saw myself in Manhattan, it just wasnt for me. Now many, many, moons later I dont see myself anywhere else. This is my home now. This is my town. This is the place that I love.
I am dreading the time when I have to actually write this post with depth and full emotion. Literally, leaving Manhattan is like losing a best friend. This sucks.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

the three12 principal

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
gentleness and
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on
which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the
of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.
And be thankful.
Let the words of Christ dwell in you richly as you
teach and
one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with
in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

colossians 3:12-17

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


“You truly love someone when you can forgive them over and over again no matter how serious the mistake is"

“As the forgiver, the person that needs to be forgiven should never question whether or not that person is willing to forgive because you should show them that much love.”

Those are a couple quotes from my wonderful friend’s father.

Forgiveness is tough but those who truly have love in their hearts can work through anything. Those who have love in their hearts need not worry about being unable to forgive because the deceit of hurt and self-pity has never penetrated their core.

Selfishness destroys our ability to forgive and our ability to persevere.

Forgiveness. Such an easy concept but such a hard act to execute. Once you can forgive though, how freeing love is.

Love never fails.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


Burn a couch already.

I am sitting in Hale library, the main library on the Kansas State University campus, putting off anything and everything as long as I can and am just enamored by the mystery of my generation. In this building at this exact moment sits thousands of twenty-somethings. Some prepare to be doctors, lawyers or teachers, others scientists, engineers, artists, geologists or professional business people. Diversity of a group that extends to all ethnicities, religions and languages. Some of us know each other some of us know no one. There are those who sit silent, those who feverishly study, others make noise and carry on, while still others lay asleep in their arms exhausted and overwhelmed. Each and every person in this building has their own story. Each persons road that led them here is completely different, some may be similar but none are identical.

Yet, still there is one common bond among this ever diverse setting. There is fire in everyone here. When you are in University you still have a dream. Collegians alike are all building something. Some may be here to advance their pocket book, or to prepare themselves for the future, or equip themselves for others, maybe others for things far greater than my mind could even fathom, nonetheless there is a driving force. No matter the age, background, major, or motives there is something inside everyone in this building to do something more.

What if that something in everyone was more? What if that something in everyone stretched past academia and industry? What if that something in everyone was motivated by love and the burdens of others, even if it was the burdens of the lives of those sitting across from them at their study table? What if people made conversation with one another and looked each other in the eye as they pass by the printer instead of putting their heads down and ignoring the familiar strangers existence? What would the future look like if we took all of these people, some the most intelligent in the country, and replaced their fears and insecurities of one another with love? Just an all out passion for the best interest of our peers.

How can we equip the most advanced generation to stand up for something real? As college students we are supposed to be bold and intentional for the things that we believe in. I feel like I am surrounded by people who have all the knowledge imaginable, who are equipped beyond belief, to do huge things and change the world but don't have the guster or desire to actually make it happen. How does this happen? How did we come to the point that we are willing to settle with a facebook group or mass twitter to determine the outcome of something rather than physically demonstrating our beliefs. I am sitting on a college campus, the largest speaker phone to the world and it has been passed off as a congruent set of sidewalks and buildings. I am on a college campus, the largest mass of people ready to take on the world by the horns and it has become an egotistical, techy, lame excuse for social networking rather than social justice. Where did my generation go wrong? Where are the protesters and radicals? Where are the people with insane ideas and their opponents who bleed for nationalism? Why is the world controlled by the black keys of a MacBook Pro instead of black soot of the ashes of a burning couch fueled by the distress of passion?