What's the Difference?

There are so many things going on right now that I am very excited for and I realized the other day that I have for some reason neglected to document any of it. With that said I am going to reenter the blogosphere as an outlet for thought in fear that if I keep all of my ideas and thoughts, no matter how bad, trapped up inside I may just go loco.
So first things first. I have had the opportunity to follow a dream laid on my heart. I can truly tell you that I believe that it is a complete divine commissioning and I get to act on it. Its a trip. I am starting a cross-cultural internship program for college-aged students in KCK. Its an opportunity to live in community and experience the love of Christ by being the hands and feet of his exciting ministry. The best part about being a missionary (for lack of a better term) is the demand to rely on people. I will be frank in saying that more so than any other time in my life everything is completely out of my control... I mean my stinkin salary is in the hands of grateful donors who believe in what God is doing through Mission House. Oh yea, the organization is called Mission House. Cool, way more on that some other time.
In my new experience with Mission House I have had the opportunity to meet some really incredible people. I feel absolutely blessed by the people that God has put on my path. Everyone from experienced church planters and progressives of international missions to unemployed illegal immigrants and refugees. I truly feel as if I have the greatest job in the world. God chose me specifically for this!
The other day one of these new friends was asking me a question about a parable in the Gospel of Luke that I will admit is very difficult to grasp especially for those who do not understand the style of Jesus' teachings. The question was about Luke 9: 57-62.

57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 59 He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good‑by to my family.” 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

The young lady whom I was speaking with posed her confusion and puzzlement due to the fact that Jesus seemed insensitive to the situation that these two men wanted to be with there families. Understandable. I was a bit thrown off to be quite honest when she brought up her question, It wasn't the typical investigative setting but it did get me to think about and wrestle with this passage.
First, I don't think Jesus was very sensitive when it came to his ministry, as far as compassion is concerned he is the most sensitive person to ever walk the face of the earth, as far has his ministry is concerned he is the most focused and passionate man to ever walk the face of the earth. He got it that he was on a mission.
I loved playing baseball as a kid. Absolutely loved it. I was awkward and no one was ever overally excited to be on my team but I truly enjoyed the game for what it is, a game. There is a science to baseball and that fascinates me. I would try to play baseball every single day in my backyard with my neighbors. Here is the first part that eludes to the science of the sport, variables. The neighbor kids that I grew up around are the variables, if they had things to do that they felt were more important then there was no baseball.
Spiritual life is similar. We are the variables in Jesus' ministry. If we start our ministry with excuses the likelihood of us ever making it to the game are pretty slim. Jesus was making the point that if today you want to leave to say good bye to your family then tomorrow you will find some other loose-end that needs tying up before you commit to following. We must remember that Jesus wasn't insensitive he was passionate and expectant and the inability to commit is not a trait that He looks for on our résumé.
What a great question she posed. I love my job, have I said that already?

charades

Read this article first and then realize the difference between America and the rest of the world.

S Africa City Staff go on strike

What do you think the reaction would be if President Obama, and all of his promises (troops, economy, oil, space advancement, jobs, etc...) were made in any other country than the United States? I am almost certain there would be some sort of anarchy.

Maybe its our turn to get pissed off and burn down some bus stations. Maybe then the charades of our government would be... well less of a game. Or maybe I am just angry because I have it so much better than I can even fathom.

remember this

Last weeks memory passage (Col 3:1-4):

Since, then, You have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ sits at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

This weeks (Col:5-11):

Put to death therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, Circumcised, Barbarian, Barbarian, Scythian, Slave or Free, but Christ is all and is in all.

Ignorance v. Arrogance

Lately, my mind has been consumed by thoughts debating the relationship between intentional ignorance and arrogance.

The common thought that has been troubling and muffling my brain has been specifically geared towards the idea of the United States ability to shrug off the reality of our socio-economic failures but at the exact same time assemble large focus groups and fundraising campaigns exploiting facts relating to the World's community outside of North America.

Here is an example of my frustration;
In the United States 39% of all children under the age of 18 will be homeless. That is saying that nearly half of the populations children at least for one night in their adolescence will not have a place to live. In India, however, the percent of homeless children is 18%.
Both of these numbers are outrageous and devastating. Both of these numbers are unsettling and depressing.
Now, ask yourself, which one of these facts you feel that you are more aware of?

This is where this war of thought usually floods my brain. In America, at anytime I can Redbox or TiVo a documentary on the devastation of displacement and homelessness and abuse of children from other countries. Access to view the struggles and pain of the world has become almost instantaneous, there are multiple commercials with crying Hollywood stars begging for money to end poverty and secure betterment of life abroad.
I guess my question is, "where are the commercials and documentaries to raise support for the struggling brothers and sister of my own nationality?" Is getting to America the end of the dream? Once you have made it to America you are on your own, the responsibility of those pocket books and humanitarians no longer pertains to you?

The world is our doorstep. We, the developed, wealthy West, have a responsibility to take care of all people. We have a responsibility to organize prosperity and relief using all means possible. My hope is that while we are watching our documentaries about distant lands we never lose sight of what is going on in our own country only blocks away.

We live in the greatest country in the world. Before we can get the rest of the world to believe that we must first convince all of our citizens to believe that... if they have a house or not.

Are we intentionally ignorant or are we just plain arrogant?

sweet summertime.

I kind of suck at this blog posting thing lately. I guess summer break has worked its way into all portions of my life... which is okay by me, it has been a well needed disconnect. Next Monday though I am back to real life.

Peace out yall.

Ugh.

It has hit me hard in the past two days that I am no longer going to be in Manhattan... Ugh.

For the first time in six years I am the one saying I am graduating... Ugh.

My brain wants to give up and I still have six finals and three papers to complete... Ugh.

I have my last shift ever at The Pathfinder this afternoon... Ugh.

I just said Ugh four times... Ugh.

2nd Homesick

Tonight, I came to the realization that I am homesick.
I am currently writing my senior report. The topic is the worlds water crisis, in particular developing countries.
My major is based around what I am passionate about, which is cool because that is not very common (I guess after six years you deserve to get it right, haha).
The only problem here is just that... my passion isn't here.
My heart is in a land thousands of miles away.
Its funny. The small nuances, such as rain storms, or walking, or humidity, or confusion, the norms of daily life all remind me of that continent.
Everything makes me homesick in a very awkward way.
I wish I could explain the complexity of it.
I miss the relaxed busyness. I miss the taste of the air. I miss the passion that I grew to be annoyed by there.
I can't wait to move back.
Sometime soon... hopefully.
Plain and simple. My heart isn't at rest here.
I don't even know what my role looks like there but I just know I need to be there again. Soon!

Speak to Me!

So, as my graduation present to myself I am going to buy Rosetta Stone and learn a new language. I have narrowed it down to four languages but I am not sure which one to choose.

The finalist are:
1. Mandarin
2. Farsi
3. Hindi
4. Swahili

I am leaning towards Farsi but I am seriously excited about them all. I guess best case scenario I would learn them all but as for now I can only choose one. So what do you think? Persian, Chinese, the major language of India, or that crazy click from Africa?

I am making my first SMS post. This is kind of exciting.

So I am sitting in Wamego fading away from Chemistry and coming into the realization that school is over in 14 1/2 days. That is scary.
I hope I have completed what I was set here to do. - Do you always doubt your accomplishments when it is time to move on? When I make the next transition in my life down the road will I wonder then, like now, if I made the most of my time?

the Fear of Fear

What is fear when it is transcends all understanding? When you aren't physically scared of something but more or less just aware of a situation.
What is it when we aren't tangibly upset or even worried but we just have an understanding that things are not the way that they should be? I would consider this FEAR but is it?
Does fear have to have feeling or can it just be an understanding? Can fear just be an awareness that something is out of place?
Can we fear fear? Can we be afraid of the feeling of fear when we put ourselves out there? Is this what causes us not to take risk? Is the fear of fear what causes us to be timid?
This goes past rejection and discomfort and this may not make sense to anyone but me but it works in my head... so I guess welcome to confusion that is my brain.